i wanna start to look presentable. i wanna tuck in shirties. i wanna have my top ironed. dad's word of wisdom on attire ran thru my mind... "pakaian biarlah bersih. biarlah kemas. biarlah tertib dan menutup aurat. itu sahaja melambangkan keperibadian seseorang". ok well let me try to translate... ermmm... the attire that u don, let it be clean and neat and cover your modesty. that itself reflects on a person's well being. ( i hope i got it right.. anyways i noticed that when a malay phrase or and idiom being translated into english, it just sounds too funny)
why didnt i or i should say i could never believe this crap? perhaps wanting to avoid the hypocracy of wanting to look nice in the eyes of others but my inner self is such a MESS. true enuff aint it? so must as well stay messy. i am what i dress like. im shabby looking... loose clothes, tucked out. pants sweeping the floor. dragging of feet while walking. gosh... it actually is quite awful after all.
i throw my clothes all over the room. i dont do my own laundry. i didnt iron my clothes. i throw my wet towel on the floor. i mess up the entire closet. my old mother has to do all the cleanup. i'm such a dick.
in camp,i start to realise that i need to change. seeing guys being neat. doing our bed before breakfast. towels hanged neatly by the bed stand. toilettries arranged nicely in the cupboard. no dirtly clothes all over the place.. like Kranji. no more. chat up with bunk mates on their new flats and how they deal with cleanliness and upkeep their new homes. how they spend on renovations and shits like that.
anyways, i want to show him that. i want to look neat. i want to be neat. even though it is just not me, i feel that its a change for the better. so ... why not. just wanna please my dad and show him that i can be what he thinks i cant. my next challenge will be combing my hair. thats a real tough one. yikes!
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