my hari raya

i usually didnt celebrate hari raya that much. maybe its due to the fact that ive not been doing much good deeds during the month of ramadhan like how im supposed to.

well anyway, this year seemed to be a little different for me. i have a lot of factors to consider. now that i have committ my life with my other half, things changed completely.
this year, i have 2 families to be with.

so as usual, the visits to mak ngah's and cik mat's house. thats where my grandpop and granny is. this year seemed a little bit too much for granny to take. she, being bed ridden, couldnt do much but just to talk to us. telling how much in pain she was. how she wished she was not alive. seeing her in that condition hurts me. she faces difficulties in anything she wants to do, even eating. the rest of the family members start to seek forgiveness when everyone is present. my sister in law, seemed to be having a culture shock. everyone who met me asked about wifey. they were somehow expecting me to be with her wherever i am. they seemed to forget the fact that we were not married yet. same goes for wifey's side. perhaps this shows how inseparable we are.

earlier in the morning, i went over to wifey's to pass her the digicam. hence, i tot that must as well i did the tradition of seeking of forgiveness with him like how i did with my family. the moment i took his hands into mine, the both of us kept on crying. crying to the fact that i had lost a mak and he losing a wife. also i did tell him about the vow which i made to him and mak about loving and taking good care of wifey. there was much more being said but if all muffled down for our crying voices. now that mak is not around, i felt the meaningless of a hari raya.

at night, i got more involved with wifey's family. first it was arwah nyai's place (where everyone of then gather). then to nanans. (poor thing i came too late and she was about to sleep. sorry nan...)

the day was ended with wifey starting with the seeking of forgiveness from me. the love, the feeling, the whole atmosphere surrounding me at that time was priceless. never had i experienced it, and that practise and feeling is sure to stay.