dont know why

first of all, i feel grateful to god for creating genius men for inventing a gadget called laptop for lazy people like me to blog on my bed. thanks god.

well im now on my bed and unable to sleep.. yet. yeah, i didnt have proper sleep from last night. the night which i tought was sweet which eventually turned... sweeter. ok no sarcasm.
it was a confusing night. it was all perfect. all perfect. i had no problems at all staying put in the hospital cos nanan was sick. she looked she needs family attention. and i felt good being there.

it was all nice, having the cheap thrill of cuddling and even pecks just beside mak. the time spent at hospital was good. suddenly...she starts checking my phone. and found a female shrek's name and start to make unnecessary comments. it doesnt sound friendly at all. which makes me a little agitated to have been reacted the way i did. first of all, she said she never seen her name in my phone before. the thing is, her name was in there since i was using my old nokia phone. even before i was using PDA phones. my goodness! why the sudden!? i have no idea at all. and the remark every female seemed to be my old classmate. now u tell me, what on earth did i do wrong? ive thought it over. the best for me is NOT to have any friends at all. that will do it. there will be no such situation. tell me how not to be pissed.

and when i tot it was over, no it didnt. i felt like a desperado. it was asked in a way that without LM, it will ruin my happiness. i really think that was shallow. i was upset. very indeed. it continued till noon. and later it was ok. she apologized. and i think we shall put it behind us and move on. i am worried for myself making stupid decisions. my patience has its limits too. so far.. its still controllable. wihtout love, there'll be no us. i love her still.. very much. and will continue till my last breath.